Thoughts from Gaza 2015 ~ Eileen Carr.

2015…thoughts from Gaza…

“Yesterday and today I spoke with many friends in Gaza. Though they wished me a very happy new year and meant this most sincerely three people that I spoke with explained to me why it is that a time such as New Year is a particularly difficult.

“Promises made to Palestine is as is usual useless. What promises can we make anyway. A promise to stay alive? That promise we cannot control don’t you understand? Sorry if I say bad things to you. They make fools of us always. Even after the war, and we win this war because they do not destroy us altogether, they make promises and break all. This day is another day of disappointment. Today I don’t have the money to buy the vegetables for the dinner and I have to borrow. I pay the rent to this house for two months and so now I have nothing except to the charity from friends. A new year but the same stress and shame with no food and no dignity here”.

“Now today I only had three hours of the electric. Can you imagine that? Three hours in 24 hours I think. No you cannot. I am sorry but the life here is too hard. We see the parties all over the world and we close the TV. How can we look to this when we are cold in the house? You know I do not change my clothes for many days because it is too cold. I keep them on my body because they are warm. This is a big shame to me but I give the hot water, even if it is only a little, to my husband and children and use the rest for the washing of the clothes, but they are very old, and then I save the rest till another time. Never you know if we have water, hot or cold. I have so much anger inside me. Really I try make dua but it does not help me so much like before. I think because I lose the hope. Why we should have party for another year of this suffering?”

“Here in my home we have no electricity at all. I try to study and I try to read but I cannot do these things. When the power comes I cook quickly with my mother and do the washing. We have to rush because maybe the electricity will only come for a short time. I sleep all the day till the electricity comes. Even today I was thinking that in the war there was more contact with people because we have the power. Now everything is to be charging at the same time and now it is dangerous because too many charging in the house and maybe there will be big explosion. My mother she is afraid for that. So I do not use my Facebook much. They cut the electricity and they cut out Gaza from the world. My father is very sad too and I worry every day I look to him. He does not speak much and does not look to us in the eye and we are afraid every day for the angry. Many people get angry very quickly in these times with the stress I think. My brother tells me his friends have many fights in these times. This is not good. It is not normal. I think they destroy our minds more than our bodies”.

How can the people of Gaza celebrate a new year? They need to see, feel, experience, positive change before trust returns. Let us hope with all our might that the ICC applications will yield positive results and pressure where we can to support this. I cannot say that full justice will ever be done because it is impossible to visualize how that would appear. There has been too much suffering and pain but acknowledgement from the perpetrators would be a starting point with change alongside..”

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